Stupid
by samanddianefan10
Summary: Michael hates Toby. He really hates Toby. What happens in a hotel in Chicago stays in Chicago.


**A/N: I know that I said that I was on hiatus but this one wrote itself! And I am still new to the office so I have no idea who Michael's boss would be so I made someone up. Thanks for reading!**

Michael Scott hated Toby Flanderson with a passion. He hated everything about him from his stupid face to the stupid suits he wore to the stupid chair he sat in every day. Even the cologne he wore to work was enough to make him gag. He had been thrilled when Toby had left for Costa Rica; he never thought he would ever have to see his stupid face again. But no, just when Michael was happy again, just when he had gotten over Holly and was looking forward to the next chapter in his life, there Toby was, like a bad rash that just wouldn't go away. What was corporate thinking, bringing him in to take his former girlfriend's place? True, Holly had taken Toby's place, but Michael was not self-aware enough to realize that was part of the reason he hated him so badly. It was just enough for Michael to know he hated the red-haired man, and he would go out of his way to make his life miserable.

Those who knew Michael would say that was out of character for him. What drove him the most was a deep need to be loved and needed. He would say anything for a quick laugh, making himself the fool if it meant someone would look his way. His coworkers were the only family he had. For everyone else, the workplace was just a place to collect a pay check. Not Michael; he lived for the time he arrived and got to be around the very people who validated his existence. Without them he would be a shadow of a man, no one to reflect his true identity. There was a reason he had been with the company since 1992.

With as extreme a personality as Michael had, you would think he would have made many enemies over the years. Not so. He was quite the salesman and in fact was fact promoted. He was not so much respected by his peers and colleagues as was tolerated. It was easy to see at first glance that Michael Scott was a very lonely fact. In fact, Michael once confided that he went 28 years without sex and then another 7. But with the few women he had been with, he brought out their nurturing instinct. At first he annoyed them, as he did everyone else. But then they could see that need of his and they saw a void they could fill. But this void became too big, or HR would find out and transfer her. Love was not on his side.

So it was easy to see Michael was not a vindictive man, a mean man, a hateful man, or a hurtful man. He treated those around him the way he wanted to be treated. So what was it about Toby that stirred up the passion in him? It was like he couldn't help himself. He became someone else around him, and he hated himself for it but he just couldn't help himself.

It was Thursday and Susan from HR called.

"Susan...Susanitis, Susie Q...Wake up little Suzie..."

"Michael…not now. It's Thursday and I'm really tired. I need you to listen to me. Are you listening to me?"

"Why are you tired? I'm energized. Do you know why? Because I love my job! And when you love your job you never get tired. Do you not love your job? That could be a problem. Maybe you could talk to someone. It sounds like someone needs a little conflict resolution. Do you know what? I would be happy to monitor a conflict resolution session!" Michael exclaimed.

"Michael you're not listening to me. Are you listening to me? This is not about me. It's about you. You're in trouble."

"What? No, everyone loves me. There's no trouble in paradise. In fact we just had a Michael Scott appreciation day last week!"

"Michael we've been getting some sexual harassment complaints about you. We take these things very seriously. You could be considered a real liability to the company," Susan said.

"No, if anyone should be complaining it should be me. The girls just can't keep their hands off of me. They are a little curious or a little bi-curious if you know what I mean…" he laughed at his own joke.

"Michael this is serious. I have been ordered to terminate you effective immediately."

Michael shut up. Fired? This couldn't be happening. He might as well shoot himself. "Can't we talk about this?"

"We have tried to talk about this."

"Who? Who tried to talk about this with me?"

Suasn paused. "Toby Flanderson."

"Toby Flanderson? That idiot? Why would I listen to a word he has to say? He is the most incompetent, most ignorant, most …stupid person I have ever met. Have you ever met him?"

"Michael, like it or not he is HR and he was doing his job. Would you like to save yours or not?"

"Yes! I will do anything!"

"There is a conference on sexual harassment in Chicago this weekend that the company will pay for…"

"Let's do it… sexual harassment me up!"

"There is one other thing. You will be required to attend with Toby."

"Oh no. Oh God no. Will you excuse me while I'll puke?" Michael said sarcastically.

"Do you want to save your job or not?"

"How long do I have to think about it?"

Susan was not amused.

Reluctantly Michael agreed. Then he hung up the phone and walked over to Toby's desk where he was greeted with a polite smile.

"Hello Michael. How are you today?"

Michael kicked the bottom of his chair, attempting to make him fall out of it. "You… you were at the bottom of this. You were trying to get me alone for the longest time just so you could molest me! Everyone knows you are a convicted rapist. You probably made up those phony sexual harassment charges just so you could seduce me. But I tell you… I WILL not be your bitch!"

Toby just stared at him, used to his rantings but this one particularly hurt. True, the thought of being alone with Michael made him nervous and he didn't know why but the way he was talking to him right now made him feel dirty and shamed. All he wanted to do was hide under his covers. Costa Rica was sounding pretty good right about now. Instead he did what he always did, put on his polite smile, and tried to look past Michael, as if he weren't even there.

Michael looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he looked at Toby with disgust and walked away, shaking his head as he did. Toby watched him go, thinking back to the day that Michael hugged him. True, it was pure sarcasm, but he never could get that image out of his head. Shake it off. That wasn't real. The Michael everyone sees, the look at me, I need love Michael is a phony. Only Toby knew how hateful, cruel and vindictive he could be.

Much to Michael's disdain, Toby sat next to him on the business class flight to Chicago. He forgot his earplugs so he spent the first twenty minutes singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic until he caught Toby looking at him.

Michael looked around for a flight attendant. "Excuse me, maam. I'm sorry to bother you but this man has had his hand down his pants for the entire flight and it's making me really uncomfortable."

Toby opened his mouth to protest but the flight attendant gave him a sharp look.

"Sir I order you to bring your hands out from under your blanket at this moment and keep them where I can see them. This is a family friendly airline and we do not tolerate that sort of behavior. I don't know what type of freak you are or how you get your kicks but keep it to yourself. And sir," she turned to look at Michael, "I am so sorry. I don't know how guys like this get past security."

"It's not your fault. Guys like this make me sick. Thank heavens for people with watchful eyes like yourself. I hate to trouble you but could I get another drink now? I'm a little distressed by this whole experience. Thank you so much!" Michael smiled.

As soon as she left he turned to whisper in Toby's ear. "If that did happen would it be me you were thinking of?"

As soon as he turned away Toby turned towards the window. He didn't want Michael to read his face but yes, he did think about him sometimes and he didn't know why. And he hated himself for it. Who in their right minds would dream about the one person who made their lives a living hell? And besides, he wasn't gay. He had an ex-wife for heaven's sake. No, he must stay away from Michael this weekend. But he had to do his job. He was professional above all else.

So the weekend of the convention came and went. Michael went around being his usual bumbling self. Toby tried to speak but couldn't get much in, thanks to Michael, who contradicted everything he had to say. Toby swore he caught Michael looking at him a few times but maybe it was just his imagination. All in all it was a typical weekend for those two.

It was Saturday night and Toby was dressed semi-casually, he sprayed on some cheap cologne, and he headed to the bar in the lobby. He figured it was a good time to get away from everything and everyone. Especially Michael. Their plane didn't leave until three so he could afford to stay out late, and to be honest he was hoping to meet someone. He figured it wouldn't happen, he didn't have the best luck with the ladies. But he was in a new city and no one knew him, no one except Michael. There he was again. It all came back to him. How could he get him off his mind?

So he went downstairs and ordered a drink and sat in the corner, just observing everyone. He feigned a smile, not wanting to be the sad sack that Michael always claimed that he was. After about two hours he was ready to go home when suddenly a pretty blonde came up to him.

"Hi! I'm Michelle! What's your name?"

"Me?"

She laughed. "I don't see anyone else here."

"Oh. Yeah. I'm Toby. Nice to meet you."

"Same here. So what's a guy like you doing all by yourself on a Saturday night? I haven 't seen you get off your seat for a few hours."

"Oh. I like sitting I guess. It's nice."

"Not as nice as laying," Michelle looked at him suggestively.

He didn't get it. She looked at him again.

"Laying… as in get laid…"

His eyes widened. "You want to do that… with me?"

"Why not? You're old enough aren't you?" she laughed.

Suddenly an all too familiar voice came up from behind them. "I'm afraid he's not able to 'get laid'. Not by you anyways."

They both turned around and saw Michael Scott standing there.

"Why not?" Michelle asked.

"Because…Toby is a homosexual."

She looked at Toby. "You could have told me." Then she stormed off.

Michael then saw something he never saw before. Toby's face grew red. "Michael, I would like to speak to you upstairs in my room."

"What are you going to do, kick my ass?"

"I really want to talk to you. If you don't then I will have no choice then to report you to headquarters." He stared at Michael then headed upstairs.

Michael didn't know whether or not to believe him or not, but curiousity got the best of him. He'd never seen an angry Toby so this ought to be good.

"Michael, I would like to know why you told that girl I am a homosexual," Toby asked once Michael arrived and the door was firmly locked.

"Aren't you? Look at you? You can't keep a marriage together, no woman wants you, you follow the fucking rules, everything about you cries out gay!"

"Michael I am not gay. I wish you would stop saying that about me. It is hurtful when you make false allegations about me."

"And how do you know that you aren't?" Michael stood face to face with him, making Toby feel nervous and uncomfortable. "Have you ever tried it?"

"Please step back. You are invading my personal space.."

"Fuck your personal space…" With that Michael grabbed Toby and kissed him violently, no one knowing where that came from but neither one wanting it to stop. Michael kissed him some more than he broke away and looked at Toby.

"Do you want me to stop?" he growled.

Toby nodded no.

"Tell me you don't."

"I don't want you to stop."

And so they didn't, going at each other with an intensity neither one had ever experienced before. Afterwards, Michael didn't say a single word, he just got dressed and walked away without a single goodbye or look back at Toby. Toby knew he should have felt used but somehow he knew that he wanted it just as much as Michael had. It explained so much about him. Toby knew that tomorrow at the office things would go back to the way things were before, with Michael mentally and verbally abusing him. But he also knew that it would also build up, and what had happened tonight would happen again. So no matter what Michael said about him, maybe he wasn't so stupid after all.

The end


End file.
